A Celebration of Stinky Breath at Bern’s Onion Festival

Me at the Onion Festival

Want to know why I’m covered in confetti and standing in a market? Read on!

The Onion Festival (Zibelemärit) that is held once a year in Bern, Switzerland isn’t all about stinky breath, though from the wares on sale at this festival celebrating the onion you could easily make the mistake of thinking that it was!  The festival is also known as the Onion Market, and is one of the strangest and most unexpected things I encountered during my recent trip through Europe.

This popular festival happens only once a year, on the fourth Monday in November, and it draws quite a crowd.  Me being well, me, I clearly didn’t even know it existed until the night before I was going to leave Bern.  I was really lucky that my train didn’t leave too early in the morning so I wouldn’t end up missing the festivities.  Wait… did I mention yet that this thing starts at 5 am?  Yes, this giant event starts long before dawn and everyone still comes out to party!

Onion Festival - Bern, Switzerland

The sun is just coming up but the party started ages ago!

Farmers, who obviously grow onions, bring their wares into the capital and set up their stalls long before I ever think of being awake.  They often sell their onions and garlic (as I said, super stinky but tasty foods) in decorative forms.  They make braids, wreaths, horseshoes and even hearts out of woven onion and garlic.  I’m not sure if you’re supposed to take them apart and cook with them or hang them in your living room, but they are definitely cool!

Onion Decorations

Don’t you just want to chop them up and make a stir fry? Or give them as a gift? …or hang them in your house?  I don’t know, I’m confused.

Onion Dolls

They even make little dolls out of onions! Wait, these are actually kinda creepy. Are these for kids?

Malt wine is another big part of this early morning festival.  I mean, why not get plastered while talking about onions at 5 am?  But the wine isn’t alone on the ingestible treats side of the market.  There’s gingerbread and candy for the kids, soups, pretzels and cheeses for those who want something hearty, and something that I’m referring to as “some sort of deep-fried apple in a doughnut thingy covered in sugar and cinnamon” because I can’t pronounce Apfelchüechli.  Whatever it was it was amazing.

Apfelchüechli

I was drawn to these things like a moth to a flame.  A flame that was deep-fried and covered in awesome.

Close Up of Apple Things

I could have eaten these all day. I would have been horribly and violently ill later when I was on the train, but I would have been happy!

But that’s not even all there was at this early morning market.  You have to have a motivation to get the kids out of bed that early, you know, if the motivation of having Apfelchüechli ever wears off (how could it.)  So they also sell giant baggies of confetti, which the kids run around chucking at each other and strangers and the ground and basically everywhere.  It turns the whole of the old town of Bern into a giant colourful confetti party, and I love it.

Confetti and Me

Here I am, taking a fist full of confetti straight to the face! Kids! (It was awesome)

Confetti on the Ground

I don’t know who has the job of cleaning up after this festival, but I pity them and the nightmares they must have about confetti.

The onion celebrations also take on a bit of a resemblance to Mardi Gras in my mind with the beaded necklaces they make and sell and wear throughout the morning.  However, these beaded necklaces are actually made out of candy, that resembles onions all tied together.  Because how could they not?

Onion Necklaces

Because who doesn’t want to run around wearing brightly coloured onion themed necklaces all day?

If you had never heard of the Bern Onion Festival before reading this article, then you’re welcome.  Now that I’ve been, I recommend that you get your onion loving buns over to Bern next November to experience it for yourself!  Just remember, it’s early in the morning and you don’t want to miss it!

 

Freddy Beach Ribfest BBQ Goodness

I think I’ve died and gone to heaven!  That or I’m slowly dieing right now… probably the latter.  I’m sinking into a food coma, the best food coma of my life.  This could be bad, or very very good.

That was my thought process as I rolled (pretty much literally) myself out of Fredericton’s very first Ribfest at the end of May 2014.  It might have been the first time that Fredericton had hosted such a massive food event, but that didn’t dampen the success.  It was certainly one of my favorite events we’ve ever had in Fredericton, and frankly, I think it needs to happen again.  As in I personally need it to happen again, tomorrow would be good… mmmm ribs.

OK, I got distracted, let me start at the beginning.  After parking in the incredibly packed parking lot I stepped out of my car, breathed in the smell of smokey fires and cooking BBQ, and instantly knew that I was going to have a great time.  There were lots of different vendors and games and things with their tents and trucks encircling the seating area, so I couldn’t see anything until I stepped through into the center of Ribfest itself.

For the kids

Like this game/ride thing. For kids only I think… how very disappointing.

There were rows on rows of picnic tables; each lined with people absolutely covered in BBQ sauce who were stuffing their faces.  Towering above them all were the billboards for the different rib vendors, the reason that we were all there.

Ribfest Vendors

It was like stepping into BBQ heaven.

Five vendors in total, how could I possibly choose which line to get in?  Turns out you can just go right up to the cooks, as they are BBQing their hearts out over the wood fires, and ask for a sample of their sauce. Some were smokey, some sweet, one was more spicy, but after trying them all I knew which one I had to get.  I called it my Goldie Locks sauce.  It wasn’t too sweet or too smokey, it was just right for me.  My vendor of choice: Crabby’s BBQ Shack.

Crabby's BBQ

This is the place where my stomach’s best dreams were about to come true. Rib cooking geniuses.

So I hunkered down and got in the very, very long line to wait my turn.  To my surprise the lines moved really fast and before I knew it I was up at the front excitedly ordering the meal I had priced and planned out, a chicken and ribs combo.

“I’m so sorry, we’ve run out of chicken for the night.” Were the next words I heard… out of chicken?  Crap!  I didn’t plan a backup choice!  Needless to say I panicked and ended up ordering a full rack of giant ribs.

Ribfest Ribs

A full rack of ribs? Sure, yeah, I can totally eat all of that…. oh man that’s a lot of food.

Note to self: always have a backup choice.

It was a crazy huge pile of ribs, but my god were they good.  Juicy, tender, tasty, fall off the bone; anything you could ask for.  I may have accidentally ordered a whole rack, and I may not look like the type of person who could actually eat all of it, but sure gave it a solid try.  I ended up eating all but 2 of the ribs, which I shared with some friends.  I mean come on, I had to let other people know about how amazing and clearly superior these ribs were!

The Aftermath

The Aftermath: complete and utter rib destruction.

All of these amazing rib cooking folks travel all over Canada, even going to a few US destinations, cooking their amazing ribs.  In Fredericton they served the best ribs I have ever had in my life to over 70,000 people in one weekend.  That’s a lot of BBQ.  If they come to your neck of the woods, or you are able to find them on your travels, I highly recommend (basically require) that you go.  It’s well worth the cost and your time.  When you’re full to the brim with ribs at the end, relaxing in the beer tent listening to the live band, you’ll thank me for telling you to go.  I know you will.